An Open Letter From A Lonely, Beautiful Woman To Herself

“Dear Diary,
It seems like these days are all the same… one guy after another. I
guess I should consider myself lucky, but at the same time it’s so frustrating
to be me. My boss was “flirting” with me again today. It’s starting to make me feel
uncomfortable... He’ll come into my office for absolutely no reason and
pretend he’s letting me in on some kind of “secret” in the company. It’s so
obvious what he really wants. It’s just like when I’m at the store and some
strange guy will pretend to be shopping for something totally out of the
ordinary (which they never end up buying) just to eye me up and down in
the aisle. These guys just don’t have a clue.
Tonight I finally went out with Brian. I was so excited… he seemed really
nice at first, but then it just went on and on and on…. ARGH! They just don’t
get it. It was like everything he did was to try to impress me, from making
sure I approved of the restaurant (and the time, and the table, and even the
parking spot) to finding out my food preferences so he wouldn’t order
something I disliked FOR HIMSELF. It’s not like I didn’t have my own food
coming!
It kind of made me sad actually, because he really did seem nice, but he
was just missing that thing. It seems like none of these guys have that
magical thing about them that my old flame James did. It’s funny, because
James wasn’t exactly the most handsome guy around, and he certainly
wasn’t modest, but there was just something magical about the way he
carried himself… like he didn’t have a care in the world. I can still feel it now
when I think about him.
If he called me tonight everything would be perfect! But I know he won’t,
so I’ll stop dreaming now.
I figured just ONE of these last few guys would make me happy. The
gifts and the dinners are nice, (and Steve’s yacht was amazing!) but none of
these guys can make me feel the way I did with him… It was so exciting… I
never knew what was going to happen next.
I guess it’s better to be wined and dined that sit home alone thinking
about James, but it’s really nothing special anymore knowing that some guy
is just going to do whatever I want and give me whatever I ask for…
thinking that it’s going to make me want him.
Where, oh where is a man that can make me feel that way again? And
would it even be the same? I fear not. I just can’t help but think of him over
and over.
I wish so badly that I could just forget him and be happy with one of
these nice guys that I keep meeting. It would make Mom so happy… but
they just don’t get it. What’s a girl to do?”

Monday

Hi guys, sorry for not updating the last few days, and for not giving you anything valuable now either.

Just wanted you to know that on Monday me and a few friends of mine (including the PUA PsychoSeXuaL) are going to meet and really put to practice lots of our new theories and ideas. I'm going to film as much as I can and also film a special interview with PsychoSeXuaL - he's going to give you some tips and tell you about his experience.

And after that we're shifting to a high-gear, be ready.

Waler

חופש האמונה

הוא תמים
רוצה להאמין
אבל הוא לא יכול
רק נאבק בכל
וכך טובע
לא מבין דבר
רוצה לחזור
לחזור לשעבר

והוא חופשי
חופשי לדעת כל
חופשי לדעת להאמין
והוא חופשי
וזה כל מה שהוא רוצה
כל מה שהוא רוצה

ומעליו פרוסים שמיים כחולים
והוא בוהה אך לא מרגיש דבר
הוא חזק כי הוא נלחם בכל
ומהמלחמה הזו הוא כה חלש
כה מנותק, לא חי במציאות

כבר לא תמים יותר, רוצה לחיות זאת שוב
והוא לבד, לבד מול העולם
כמוהם לא יהיה עוד לעולם
עוד לעולם

והוא חופשי
חופשי לדעת כל
חופשי לדעת להאמין
והוא חופשי
וזה כל מה שהוא רוצה
כל מה שהוא רוצה

ימי הזוהר כבר חלפו עברו
עכשיו בירידה
הכל בגלל, בגלל אותה טעות
טעות, לא אשמתך
ומאז, מאז אותה טעות
כולם כבר נגדך, כולם כבר נגדך

Stop!

והוא חופשי
חופשי לדעת כל
חופשי לדעת להאמין
והוא חופשי
וזה כל מה שהוא רוצה
כל מה שהוא רצה
כל מה שהוא ירצה


והוא חופשי, והוא חופשי

והוא חופשי
חופשי לדעת כל
חופשי לדעת להאמין
והוא חופשי
וזה כל מה שהוא רוצה
כל מה שהוא רוצה

That morning

- I know you're mad. You have all the reasons in the world. It's been months since my last post. Hope you'll all forgive me. Anyhow, those months weren't fruitless! I actually wrote a few new songs! So there you have it, a song a day, until they're all here.

I woke up
This morning
Feeling
Something is not the same

I smiled
So hopeful
knowing things are gonna change

Up there, In haven
An angel smiled upon the earth,
The open green meadow
No longer ruled by sticks and stones

And I know it's been a long night
I know that we need someone by our side
And we feel it's been a long time
We feel we need some good time

Up there, In haven
An angel smiled upon the earth,
The open green meadow
No longer ruled by sticks and stones

And you know you need somewhere to go
To go to feel inspired again
You don't always reap what you sow,
There's always a risk life's game

Up there, In haven
An angel smiled upon the earth,
The open green meadow
No longer ruled by sticks and stones

- You may worship me later. Or you may worship me now. Your choice. ;)

כל החיים

הם אמרו לי תראה,
החיים לא פשוטים
זה לא רק שחור-לבן
ויש עוד גוונים

הם אמרו לי תבין
אתה רק אחד
לאחד אין סיכוי
לשנות את העולם
העולם זה כולם
כולם לא משתנים
ובודדים לא יכולים
לשנות את כל החיים
את כל החיים את כל החיים.

אתה משהו פשוט, זמני
לא מהותי
ואיש לא יזכור
לא ישתנה, כי אנשים לא משתנים
נשארים קבועים
ובודדים לא יכולים
לשנות את כל החיים
את כל החיים את כל החיים

Using hypnosis to tattoo

New month - almost like a new life

So here we go, a new month has begone. With it, I feel like a whole new life has started for me.
For start, me and Marina... Well... We broke-up. But for some reason, I'm still happy. Life just seems right no matter what lately.
My final exams started. Next week it's the history test. Wish me luck. :)

And now for what (or really - who) really got me to write this post (yeah, I'm lazy, take it or leave it) - Or. Who is she? Well, for starts, she is a cousin of a very good friend of mine. And now a very good friend of mine too. But... There is something more then that. We both know that. We just don't know what it is...

We started talk 6 days ago, but it's feels like we know each other forever. And... I don't know. It's just too confusing, we slowly try to figure out this thing.
Whatever it is, it's nice. I like it. And I think she is too.

So here is for new beginnings!
Enim Nuvos Decretum!

Yours,
Le Generosus.