It seems like these days are all the same… one guy after another. I
guess I should consider myself lucky, but at the same time it’s so frustrating
to be me. My boss was “flirting” with me again today. It’s starting to make me feel
uncomfortable... He’ll come into my office for absolutely no reason and
pretend he’s letting me in on some kind of “secret” in the company. It’s so
obvious what he really wants. It’s just like when I’m at the store and some
strange guy will pretend to be shopping for something totally out of the
ordinary (which they never end up buying) just to eye me up and down in
the aisle. These guys just don’t have a clue.
Tonight I finally went out with Brian. I was so excited… he seemed really
nice at first, but then it just went on and on and on…. ARGH! They just don’t
get it. It was like everything he did was to try to impress me, from making
sure I approved of the restaurant (and the time, and the table, and even the
parking spot) to finding out my food preferences so he wouldn’t order
something I disliked FOR HIMSELF. It’s not like I didn’t have my own food
It kind of made me sad actually, because he really did seem nice, but he
was just missing that thing. It seems like none of these guys have that
magical thing about them that my old flame James did. It’s funny, because
James wasn’t exactly the most handsome guy around, and he certainly
wasn’t modest, but there was just something magical about the way he
carried himself… like he didn’t have a care in the world. I can still feel it now
when I think about him.
If he called me tonight everything would be perfect! But I know he won’t,
so I’ll stop dreaming now.
I figured just ONE of these last few guys would make me happy. The
gifts and the dinners are nice, (and Steve’s yacht was amazing!) but none of
these guys can make me feel the way I did with him… It was so exciting… I
never knew what was going to happen next.
I guess it’s better to be wined and dined that sit home alone thinking
about James, but it’s really nothing special anymore knowing that some guy
is just going to do whatever I want and give me whatever I ask for…
thinking that it’s going to make me want him.
Where, oh where is a man that can make me feel that way again? And
would it even be the same? I fear not. I just can’t help but think of him over
I wish so badly that I could just forget him and be happy with one of
these nice guys that I keep meeting. It would make Mom so happy… but
they just don’t get it. What’s a girl to do?”